Save Me From Myself

How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story

Book Details

Discerning Reader Editorial Review

Reviewed 07/31/2007 by Tim Challies.

Not Recommended. The inspiring but still troubling story of Heads life after Korn.

Claims of celebrity conversions to Christianity are quite common, but so often it seems that the supposed conversions are followed by no lifestyle changes, the most common external proof of a true heart change. So often we hear of the conversions and then see no convincing reason that the person has really come to know the Lord. Brian "Head" Welch is one of the few celebrities who comes to mind that claimed Christ and immediately followed this profession with profound life change. Welch was a founding member of the "nu metal" band Korn which has sold over 30 million albums and garnered 6 Grammy nominations (with 2 wins). After becoming a Christian, Welch almost immediately left the band and the rock and roll lifestyle. We knew a book was going to follow his conversion and sure enough Save Me From Myself is his story told "to encourage you to seek after a deep and intimate relationship with God."

Save Me From Myself is published by HarperOne, a mainstream publisher, and for good reason--I don't think a Christian publisher would go near this book! It is a frank and dark look into Welch's past. He describes in vivid detail the lifestyle he chose to leave behind. He writes about his hopeless addictions to alcohol, methamphetamines and other narcotics. He writes about what it was like be part of the tour bus mayhem in the Ozzfest and The Family Value tours. He discusses the utter depravity that is the lifestyle of this heavy metal rockers. While he stops short of discussing specific sexual encounters, the rest of the lifestyle is laid bear in this book. Though we all know the kind of lives these rockers lead, it is still shocking to hear the first-hand accounts.

After leaving the band, Welch shared a much-publicized testimony in the church he attended at the time and immediately departed for Israel for a holy land tour. He was followed by the media, even while being baptized in the Jordan River. While he is now largely out of the public eye, the world continues to watch and observe, seeing if his claims will be borne out by time. This book offers a glimpse into his life before, during and after his conversion.

While I do not wish to cast doubt on the sincerity and validity of Welch's profession of faith and while I do not wish to create a list of all the things that I feel are unbiblical, the book did raise several concerns which are significant enough that they impact whether or not I would be comfortable recommending the book to others. For example, Welch's discussion of his baptism makes it clear that, even a couple of years after the event, he still has no real idea of what Scripture says baptism means and what it accomplished in his life. His understanding, at least as I could discern it from the book, is more akin to baptismal regeneration than to a biblical view. While he would expect his faith to be immature since he has, after all, only been a believer for a couple of years, some of his statements do give cause for concern. Strangely, he dedicates an entire chapter to the gift of tongues, speaking of how he was taught to pray in his own prayer language, something he does for up to three hours each day. He says:

Here is my opinion on speaking in tongues: If you want to have the most faith you can have on this earth, learn to pray in tongues. If you find it too weird and you prefer to live a good, quiet Christian life, don't pray in tongues. It's just that simple. It all comes down to personal choice, just like everything else in life. God will love you the same whether you pray in tongues or not.

Just a page later he writes about how his celebrity status made him feel like the mascot at his church and that the Lord led him out of that church and, in fact, out of churches in general, at least for a while. "It was time for me to go into seclusion so I could learn what God wanted me to learn." There is no indication that he has begun to attend church since then. While I understand that it must be difficult for him to attend a church without becoming the center of too much attention, leaving church altogether is never the sign of a healthy faith. As the book reaches its conclusion, I could see that Welch has been led into a mystical kind of faith that depends on dreams, visions and all kinds of forms of revelation outside of Scripture. And then, speaking of established religion he says:

This song ["It's Time To See Religion Die," the title track for his forthcoming album] is for all the people that have been hurt by religion. All of the man-made religion crap in this world has to die. Whether it's Christian man-made religion crap or some other man-made religion crap, it all has to die. It must grieve God's heart when he sees Christians fighting about whose doctrine is right; he doesn't see denominations, he sees on big glorious bride. When Christians argue about doctrinal issues, all he sees is carnal people acting like children. All that prideful, controlling religious crap is what drives young people away from churches, and it has to go.

Such a statement is inane, not merely for the gratuitous and near-meaningless use of the word "crap" but for its naivite. The book concludes with an Epilogue that is an invitation of sorts. As we might expect, it promises that a sinner's prayer is all that is needed to become a believer. And so on. Again, my purpose here is not to point out all the things that are wrong with this book. Rather, it is to suggest that this may not be the best book to hand to that rebellious rocker nephew in your life this Christmas. Though Welch's testimony is powerful, he is clearly a young and immature Christian and one who has escaped a particularly depraved lifestyle. God seems to have done a great work in his life, but there is much work to do (as there is in all of us). At this point I don't think I could recommend Welch as any kind of leader or mentor in the church simply because his enthusiasm seems to far outstrip his knowledge and sanctification.

This is not to say the book is without value. Already I've seen reviews that have caused readers to look a little deeper and their rock and roll heroes to see what kind of lives they are leading. This book will certainly give people reason to pause and consider. I'm sure it can also give hope to those who are struggling with addiction to see that they can overcome it by turning to the Lord. And I know it will be widely read by Brian's fan base, most of whom have probably never heard any story of the saving power of Jesus Christ.

Individual readers will have to decide if they can deal with reading the story of Welch's life before his conversion. It is not easy to read about the drugs, alcohol, abuse and sexuality that pervaded his life and the lives of his band mates. Yet this was his life and he chose not to hide it. Readers should also be warned that the book contains quite a lot of profanity (lots of uses of hell, damn, the f-bomb, etc), some of it in quotations from his past, and some of it simply interspersed in the narrative. He indicates that God is helping him clean up his language but it seems strange that he would commit such profanity to the pages of the book. For those of us who value literary achievement, this book will prove frustrating as it's written by a rocker and one who clearly is not a great writer. Though he had some help in writing the book, it is still not very well written.

I rejoice that God was pleased to extend His amazing grace to Brian Welch. I trust that God is continuing to work in His life. It is my hope, my prayer, that God will lead godly mentors to him, men that can encourage and support him, and yet challenge him where he needs to be challenged. I hope these men can help him see that he needs to break his dependence on other forms of revelation and turn instead to the Word. And from there I trust that God can and will use Welch's testimony for His glory.